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Practical Ways Of Improving Your Self Esteem Part 1

 Having low self-esteem can occur for many complex reasons, and different causes may require different remedies. However, there are common themes among those who suffer from low self-esteem, and alongside them come partial solutions that, when put together, can help you begin to boost your self-esteem. Once you have started this process, it can then become a much easier task to eliminate your low self-esteem completely.

It can sometimes be very difficult to see yourself in a detached and critical way, without emotion intervening, and this is all the more true if your self-esteem is not at a tolerable level. However, it can be a big help if you can spend some initial time examining yourself and finding if there is a trend in your feelings. If you can identify those times when your self-esteem is, in your eyes, at its lowest, and also at its highest, you'll likely find clues as to how you can improve the way you feel.

Something very important to remember is that while you may not think too highly of yourself at any given time, others may see you differently and more positively. In fact, everyone will see you from different angles and with different results. You are an individual, and everyone is too; what this means is that you have a different image of yourself and a different image from all the other people you meet. This image is the one you turn into what you want, if approached in the right way and with patience.

The way you can appear differently to others can be quite amazing, compared to how you feel. Once on a management course, I had to do a mock presentation to a senior executive, based on a fairly large volume of reading material. It was February in England, and I had just come back to work that day after 2 weeks of flu, I had been commuting for over 2 hours and felt terrible. What was more overwhelming was that my personal life was emotionally upended and that was about all I could think of. I felt terrible, but I had to do the presentation and, to make matters worse, have it filmed and then critiqued by other course participants, as well as lecturers.

When I watched this video, sitting with the "jury", I couldn't believe I was watching myself. I had felt bad, but felt like I was calm, well-informed, and in full control. I obviously never referred to my notes, while others did. Still, I knew there were others on the course far more capable than me.

There are a few lessons that can be learned from this:

First of all, I saw for the first time how differently you can be perceived from outside of yourself, and it's always helpful to keep in mind that other people in your life can have a very positive opinion of you.

Second, what brought me to this occasion was simply my memory. My “natural” memory was not good, so when I started my professional studies, I bought a manual on memory improvement. It was the only reason I could appear so confident to others, when, quite frankly, I felt like death had warmed up.

So what can you make of these two lessons? As for how others see you, try to spend time focusing on how different people react to you, and focus on those who are very positive and seem to like and respect you. It is a privilege to be loved and respected, so you have the right to make the most of it and enjoy it. Try to see yourself as they see you. If you feel happier with these people, or even one of them, try to understand why. If the opportunity arises, get videotaped with these people in a natural setting, just a home video. Better yet, make that opportunity present itself. Then watch this video and learn; see yourself happy and at your height with confidence. You will not be the person you feel inside.

If you find that there is a part of your life, such as the work environment, where your self-esteem is lowest, then work on building your confidence with the goal of leaving that environment. A fresh start with people you've never met before can be a great time to "reinvent" yourself. The important thing, however, is to make the most of the positive aspects of your situation.

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